bubbleblower: cropped head shot of me with nebula background (Default)
[personal profile] bubbleblower
This has sort of an outsider's view of human sexuality:

http://www.plergb.com/RobotMusicians/RobotMusicians_Q_and_A_3.html

and here's the broader background:

http://www.plergb.com/RobotMusicians/RobotMusicians.html

You may need a rather strange sense of humor to really appreciate it.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
I just did my Poetry Fishbowl this week, and there's a poll up now to choose a free epic poem, as one of the perks. Everyone is welcome to vote.  Two of the three options are poems that feature asexual characters.  "The Odd Trio" is explicit about that; it's part of the plot in which three very different people form an adventuring party and eventually a family.  You can meet the ace, Hope, in "Hope of the Future."  "Alone in the Bee-Loud Glade" is more subtle; Rowen was originally introduced in "Rosehips and Honey" and is, per the prompt, "a very affectionate biromantic genderqueer character."  So if you'd like to see more poetry about asexual characters, you can go vote for that.
tree: caroline, sue and angela from green wing ([greenwing] teh ladies)
[personal profile] tree


And I squealed when I saw it. I suppose technically it should say, "I'm Ace", but why quibble?
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
I'm delighted to announce that Plunge  magazine is FULLY FUNDED!  Read the editor's note.  The Kickstarter campaign has 49 hours left, in case you still want to make a donation.

Plunge  will offer genre (science fiction, fantasy, western, mystery, etc.) fiction, poetry, and nonfiction about queer (lesbian, bisexual, asexual, etc.) women.  Do you write about female aces in genre settings?  Do you want to read about them?  Do you want to see what happens with mixed-orientation relationships (ace/het, ace/lesbian, etc.) in the far future or other worlds?  This is a good place for that.  You can subscribe to the mailing list for updates.  Submissions will open in July 2012.

Hold onto your hats, ladies and gentlebeings.  This is going to be one heck of a ride!

Ace Poetry

Feb. 27th, 2012 02:43 pm
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
The "alternative sexualities / QUILTBAG" theme of the last Crowdfunding Creative Jam inspired a new poetic series, which is off to a very enthusiastic start thanks to some ace friends who moseyed over to give prompts and donations. Hart's Farm is about an intentional community in historic Sweden, where love comes in many flavors. So far there are two asexual characters, Solvig (aromantic asexual, more intellectual than physical) and Rowen (biromantic asexual, highly affectionate, genderqueer).  Also, even the sexual folks reading this series have remarked on the frequent and charming appearance of nonsexual connections in terms of touch, cooperation, and caring.

Current poems:
"Welcome to Hart's Farm"
"In the Palms of My Hands"
"After Dark" (unpublished)
"Rosehips and Honey" (in microfunding now)
"Low-Hanging Fruit" (unpublished)

If you want to see more of Rowen in "Rosehips and Honey," the verses are being revealed one at a time as they get sponsored. I have a permanent PayPal button on my LiveJournal profile page for donations; epic poems usually cost $.50 per line like this one.

There is also a poll running to select a FREE poem, since Hart's Farm has brought in 3 new prompters and 3 new donors (with some overlap). You've got a choice between "After Dark" and "Low-Hanging Fruit," with brief descriptions of the poems appearing above the poll. (There's also a choice for a free steampunk poem from another series that's done well this week. You can vote there too if you wish.)  Voting will be open at least until Tuesday morning.

Overall, this is an example of what crowdfunding can do for folks who want more positive representation in the creative arts.  You can ask for what you want, and probably get it.  You can sponsor it if you love the results, so more folks can see it.  When several people collectively throw their support into a particular project, it can grow pretty fast.  If the topic is one that doesn't get much coverage, such as asexuality, even a small contribution can make a big splash.

ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
The Crowdfunding Creative Jam is open this weekend on LiveJournal and on Dreamwidth. The theme is "alternative sexualities / QUILTBAG." Please drop by either post to leave and/or claim prompts. Any flavor of ace is welcome -- romantic, aromantic, demisexual, whatever. Come request, produce, and/or sponsor more of what you want to see in fiction, art, or other creative endeavors.

My freebie for this session is "Welcome to Hart's Farm" which pretty much dumps out the whole QUILTBAG, including an aromantic asexual.
ninasafiri: (chai)
[personal profile] ninasafiri
Hello fellow aces!

I'm on the search for any sites/comms/tumblrs that focus on asexual-sexual relationships - personal accounts, how they work, etc.

Any and all help appreciated :)

x-posted asexuality lj
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
[personal profile] kajones_writing has a crowdfunded project that spans 15 different collections of stories.  One of these, Donor House, is about vampires and humans learning to live together safely.

Just released is "February Free Fiction: Jack - An Asexual Vampire (part 1) - 1115 words," a story that I inspired. In the Donor House setting, there is a subtle sexual element to vampires feeding, which got me wondering how that would affect an asexual vampire. It turns out that Jack is not good at hunting and not comfortable with the usual vampire lifestyle. He shows up at the Donor House hoping to find an alternative.

This project has lots of interactive options.  Stories can be extended if people make donations, or with credits (earned by linkbacks, spotting typos, and other helpful activities).  There is also an open prompt call through February 4, on the topic of Imbolc / New Year.  So if you like Jack as a character, and want to explore the idea of an asexual vampire, you can encourage more fiction about him.  If you want something different, there are dozens of other characters to consider, or you can suggest something completely new.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
The Kickstarter page is now up for Plunge Magazine. [personal profile] ailelie seeks to raise $2000 to fund the first two issues. (See adetailed budget.) Plunge will focus on queer (lesbian, bisexual, asexual, etc.) in genre fiction, all kinds of different genres and themes. The main website features more information about Plunge.  Check out the banner -- it says "asexual" right in there.

Please chip in and/or boost the signal.  For those of you who like to write female/female relationships (asexual or sexual), keep an eye out for when the magazine opens for submissions.
noble_freedom: (Default)
[personal profile] noble_freedom
I was going to put this in response to the Terminology Poll  but thought it might be good to make as its own entry (cross-posted in my own journal.)

[personal profile] greenchestnuts posted the terminology poll in response to This post (on tumblr) by missvoltairine. WARNING: there are lots of potential triggers and could be upsetting to some readers.

I had participated in the Terminology Poll before reading that post. I REALLY wish I had read the post first.

I guess I've developed my own terminology over the past few years. And so, it's become VERY simple to me. There are three sexual orientations:

Sexual
Grey-sexual
Asexual

Asexuals don't experience a drive/desire for sex. That is ALL asexuals, whether we're aromantic or bi-romantic. Whether or not we actually have sex. Whether or not we're trans or cis. It's one term to describe our orientation.

Sexuals: DO experience a drive or desire for sex. Again, it doesn't matter if they're queer, trans, pan, etc. It's one term to describe that whole group.

Greys: fall in the middle, because lets be honest, they exist. I would say more, but it's a group I personally struggle to understand, so I don't want to put words in their mouth. But that too is all-inclusive.

From there, it can be broken down in each category for 'specific' types of sexuals, greys, asexuals. (IE: bi, trans, cis, homo, hetero, romantic, aromanitc, etc, etc.)

In my mind, it doesn't change the QUILTBAG or anything. For example: if you're trans - your trans regardless of if your ace, grey or sexual. Maybe I'm being overly simplistic? But looking at all the arguments and discussions, I think it might help us all understand each other better if we narrowed what we call "Orientation" down to three groups, rather than 2 billion and then have the sub-groups in each area. Looking more like this (note I didn't put everything here, you get the idea, I hope):

Asexual
Grey-Sexual
Sexual
BiBiBi
HeteroHeteroHetero
HomoHomoHomo
PanPanPan
RomanticRomanticRomantic
noble_freedom: (Default)
[personal profile] noble_freedom
I thought I had deactivated over there and I'm still getting notifs, so I saw this open post and thought I should re-post it here, because well, you'll understand why when you see it:

Original post by: [livejournal.com profile] spoofmaster 
Watch this clip from an upcoming episode of House. No, seriously, go watch it right now. I'll wait.






I KNOW, RIGHT?

So this episode is going to make me either very happy or very angry, depending on how they handle it. [info]shinydinosaur found this via [info]house_wilson.

Excuse me while I go flail for a while.


[personal profile] greenchestnuts
Hi everyone,

After a lot of discussion in the Tumblr asexual communities, I've created a poll trying to get some feedback on preferences for a term for people who aren't asexual, demisexual, or grey-asexual. The link to the poll, and a brief explanation of why it is necessary, is here at my Tumblr. Even though this project came out of things on one particular social media site, I'm hoping to get a wide cross-section of responses from across the Internet, so I'm sharing it here.

Thanks!
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
One of my fans just sponsored the poem "Skinfriends" in my 2011 Holiday Poetry Sale.  This poem celebrates relationships based on sensual touch outside the context of sex, something that asexual readers may enjoy.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
Asexual Awareness Week in 2011 ran October 23-29. As part of this, I posted four batches of material from various projects. My opening post gave an overview of the activity and its importance, and mentioned several of my ace characters with links to relevant material.

1) "Nonsexual Intimacies" is a 5-part nonfiction article about small and large ways people interact closely without necessarily involving sex/romance. This may offer insights on personal relationships, and it's also a handy reference for writers. Originally posted in The Wordsmith's Forge (on LiveJournal and on Dreamwidth) and [community profile] asexuality.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

2) Schrodinger's Heroes is an apocryphal television show about quantum physics and saving the world from hostile dimensions. (You'll find it helpful to browse the menu post, which introduces the show and its characters.) In the poem "The Alpha Vector," Alex (who often appears as ace in fanfic) and Ash (who is canonically ace) visit a dimension where asexuality is the norm. this poem originally appeared in The Wordsmith's Forge (on LiveJournal and on Dreamwidth) and in [community profile] asexual_fandom.

3) Schrodinger's Heroes blends well with any other fandom, because it canonically warps reality and connects with other dimensions. "French Military Victories" crosses it with Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter. Quinn's former master Jean-Claude wants to land his jet on the Teferact's airstrip; Quinn is reluctant and explains at length why this would be a horrible idea. This story originally appeared in The Wordsmith's Forge (on LiveJournal and on Dreamwidth) .
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

4) LOL_Heroes is a branch of Schrodinger's Heroes fanfic based on LOLcats humor. Several batches of images present Alex's cat Schrodinger (canonically ace, being a neutered male), the white alter evil!Schrodinger, and various other characters in asexual configurations. These images originally appeared in The Wordsmith's Forge on LiveJournal.
Ace!Schrodinger
Evil!Schrodinger Is Ace Too
Cake Is For Aces
Miscellaneous Aces

If you have enjoyed this promotion of asexual awareness and wish to help support my writing, there is a permanent PayPal button on my LiveJournal profile page for random donations. Please leave a note specifying what it's for: I do pay attention to which topics get audience support, so that I can feature them more often.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is part of my activity for Asexual Awareness Week.


Urgent Situations

This category differs from the others somewhat. Urgent situations are rarely planned, and sometimes involve people who aren't already close. This can make them good for introducing characters to each other. Conversely if they happen between people who do know each other, they tend to change the nature of the relationship. Also, such urgent situations happen infrequently in everyday life, but they appear more frequently in the high-tension atmosphere of fiction.

Childbirth. Attending the blessed event entails providing a lot of moral support for hours under high stress. It can create a bond with the baby as well as with the mother. When planned, this opportunity is only offered to the closest family members or friends, barring professionals. But it can happen by surprise in very awkward circumstances, a popular motif in fiction.

Saving someone's life. Quick action in a life-threatening situation demonstrates how much one person values another. This can create a strong sense of connection, and sometimes obligation. It often, though not always, entails personal risk for the rescuer. This is fairly typical for military buddies or police partners, etc.

Risking your life for someone. Placing someone else ahead of your own life shows their importance to you unequivocally. This often, though not always, involves trying to save or protect another person. While it can create a sense of gratitude, it frequently causes anger as well -- someone who loves you will generally object to you endangering yourself, even to protect them. Military and police buddies protect each other regularly.

Making emergency decisions for someone. This reveals both how well you know the person, and how much you care about them -- whether you know what they would want, and act on it even if it differs from your personal preference. Unlike some of the other options, in this one the initial action is often outweighed by the aftermath. Both characters have to deal with the results of the decisions, good or bad.

Deathwatch. Dying can be as intimate as giving birth. Staying with someone while they pass is an act of love; so is providing moral support to someone sitting deathwatch for a family member or other person. Many soldiers and police have done this for someone.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This series is part of my activity for Asexual Awareness Week.


Life Arrangements

This section concerns things that weave people's lives together. Many of them are medium or long-term aspects. Some can be short-term, but may have lasting results. These are often ways in which people express closeness with their family of choice, beyond their genetic relatives.

Letting someone drive your car. This involves trusting another person with an expensive piece of equipment that, for most folks, is vital to everyday function. There may also be insurance concerns. Usually this is reserved for family members or significant others. Occasionally, close friends may be allowed.

Sharing clothes, jewelry, other personal items. This is common between siblings or close female friends. Sometimes roommates do it too. Wearing someone else's shirt or bathrobe is typical in romantic relationships, so can suggest a similar level of intimacy even in the absence of sex.

Giving someone your password and/or asking them to post to your online account. Essentially you're trusting them to "be you" at least briefly, such as to post why you won't be online today if you are sick or your internet connection is down. A mistake here can wreck your online relationships or cost you an account. Most people reserve this level of trust for family members, lovers, or perhaps very close friends.

Sharing a bank account or other economic feature. Most often done in family, this can also involve professional partners or housemates. It requires a high level of trust with valuables, as a mistake can cause big long-term problems. But it's a good way to show reliance among family of choice or people who share a lot of activities and purchasing responsibilities.

Packing someone's bag(s) for a trip. This requires a detailed knowledge of the other person so you know the right things to put in it. Plus it involves handling someone's personal items. Getting there and finding something left out really sucks. Usually it's done by people who live together, in whatever arrangement.

Cleaning someone else's living space. This shows care and knowledge on the part of the cleaner, and trust on the part of the recipient. You have to know what NOT to throw away or move. It's typical of family members and roommates. Coworkers may clean each other's desk, office space, etc.

Living together. This is a big step, even if it's just for a little while. Housemates are in each other's pockets; it's hard to keep secrets. Family members and lovers often live together, but housemates who are family-of-choice form a category of their own. If you don't want a romantic partner, a permanent housemate is a good choice for someone to share your life with.

Raising a child together. While usually done by lovers who are the parents, this is sometimes done by other combinations of people. For instance, one parent might leave the other parent and connect (sexually or nonsexually) with a new partner. A woman might decide to have a child without involving the sire, but instead share childraising with housemates. Due to family tragedy, anyone might suddenly inherit a child from a relative. In any form, this is a long-term commitment to making a family that affects not just the adults but also the child(ren).
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This series on asexual forms of intimacy is part of my activity for Asexual Awareness Week.


Sleeping & Other Spacial Closeness

Everyone has a bubble of space around them, its size varying by culture, but usually about arm-length. Strangers and casual acquaintances customarily stay outside that area. Friends and coworkers will touch or slightly overlap edges. Only close friends, lovers, and family members tend to come into very close physical proximity. This is especially true in terms of sleeping, sitting, or traveling in the same space. In fact "sleeping together" is a euphemism for sexual intercourse, precisely because of its intimacy. However, that intimacy can be just as deep -- or deeper -- without involving anything sexual at all.

Putting someone to bed. Interestingly, this activity can happen among people who are just getting to know each other -- most often if someone passes out drunk, but exhaustion can have a similar effect. It's a gesture of caring to put someone to bed rather than leave them where they drop. A milder version involves draping a blanket or coat over a person asleep on a couch or the like.

Sleeping in the same bed. This is an act of shared vulnerability and intimacy. Lovers customarily do this; so do some siblings or friends, especially as children. People may also be driven to share a bed, sleeping bag, etc. for warmth or lack of other accommodations in challenging circumstances.

Watching someone sleep. There is more vulnerability on the part of the sleeper, and more intimacy from the watcher, when only one person is asleep. Parents often watch their children sleep. Lovers sometimes do this with each other, which can be cute or creepy. It's also a guard position, useful for showing that one character seeks to protect another.

Waking someone up from a nightmare. A subtler form of rescue than more physical actions, this is still a gesture of protection and caring. It often leads to comfort afterwards. A typical courtesy between parent and child, or lovers, this can also be an early threshold for characters thrust together unexpectedly if one of them has sturdy daytime walls and a lot of issues. It is common, but often unspoken, among war buddies or veterans, many of whom have nightmares.

Camping or hiking overnight. You wind up sharing a tent, if you're lucky enough to have one, perhaps a blanket or a pile of leaves if you're unlucky. Long-distance wilderneering pushes people to rely on each other as well as share space and more intimate awareness.

Sharing a saddle. Riding a horse or other animal requires a careful coordination of two bodies; adding a third makes it even more complex. The motion usually causes two people to rub against each other constantly, and fighting it throws everyone off-balance. Either you learn to cooperate very closely, or you wind up very uncomfortable. Friends often ride together; lovers and family members sometimes do; but this can also happen with strangers meeting during a rescue. It's a good way to push standoffish characters together.

Sharing car/berth space on a long trip. This is less intimate than riding, but still involves relatively close contact over an extended time. That usually gets people talking, a terrific icebreaker early in a relationship. In established relationships it offers a chance to spend time together and catch up on news.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
This is the second part of a series on nonsexual intimacies that I'm posting for Asexual Awareness Week. (Read Part 1.)


Emotional & Psychological Closeness

Whereas sex creates a physical basis for intimacy, other actions can create an emotional and psychological basis. Some of these typically appear near the beginning of a relationship, to deepen it, while others appear later to demonstrate how close the two people have already come. Emotional and psychological connections are particularly helpful for restoring a damaged relationship.

Sharing secrets. This especially applies to talking about personal issues that aren't widely known. An exchange of secrets is a common ritual between "best friends" among girls and women, but appears elsewhere as well. Some things are only discussed among people with a common reference; veterans may be more comfortable discussing war memories with each other than civilians.

Ordering for someone in a restaurant. Acquiring food, without asking the other person what to get, shows a knowledge of their needs and desires. Providing food is also a gesture of support and sustenance.

Providing moral support at a major event. Helping someone get through a funeral, a trial, or other intense but not crisis situation is usually performed by a very dear friend. This is a situation where lovers or family members may be too close to the matter to be much use.

Crying on someone. When you cry, you tend to let your guard down. Most of the people close to you will see you cry at some point, so that can be a milestone in a relationship. Actually crying on someone, letting them hold you, is even more intimate.

Serving in a primary role for someone during a wedding. This includes the best man or maid of honor at a wedding, or stand-in for absent parents, etc. as well as the traditional family roles. One aspect of intimacy is sharing each other's lives, including ceremonies and transitions.

Comforting someone after a bad breakup. Moments of great vulnerability can bring people closer. While this role sometimes falls to family, breakup repair more often goes to a woman's female friends or a man's male friends.

Gazing into each other's eyes. Sustained eye contact is one of the best ways to make a conscious connection between people, hence the saying, "The eyes are the windows of the soul." It happens most often between lovers, or parent and child, but can be used for any kind of partner bonding.

Listening to someone's heartbeat or breathing. Close body contact, enough to carry soft personal sounds, tends to be comforting as well as connecting, as it touches on positive childhood memories for most people. It is shared between parent and child, sometimes between siblings, and later between lovers. Tight nonsexual partners may also do this.
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
I've worked up a batch of material on nonsexual intimacies for Asexual Awareness Week.  This may be useful for writers/artists who want to portray intimacy without shoving their characters in the sack.


Many stories focus on sex and romance. Those are overwhelmingly the kinds of intimacy featured in fiction. Even outside the immediate sphere of erotic and romantic stories, they comprise major subplots in most genres and many stories. Attention to other types, expressions, and experiences of intimacy is rare. This largely ignores nonsexual family relationships such as siblings or parent/child. It shortchanges close professional relationships such as a cop's beat partner or a soldier's buddy. It tends to leave asexual people off the map altogether. Even for readers who like stories about sex and romance, this can get old -- especially if the writer doesn't pay any attention to the development of intimacy but just shoves the characters into bed as fast as possible.

Nonsexual forms of intimacy can add a great deal of depth and variety to fiction. On one end of the spectrum, they provide extra steps to support the journey from meeting a potential mate through romance, sex, and marriage. In the middle, they convey the import of family and professional connections, distinguishing those from more casual acquaintances. On the other end, they form much of the glue in primary relationships for people who don't base their ties on sexuality. Sex and romance are valuable, but they're not everything. Nonsexual intimacies are the "show don't tell" conveyance for the rest of the serious relationship field. Here are some examples and their story influence.



Personal & Body Care

This category covers stuff that has to do with body boundaries and maintenance. Ordinary adults do some of these things for themselves. Parents do some for their children. Caretakers or hired professionals may do them for people who can't manage on their own or just want someone else to do it. These things can express caring or comfort in a relationship, with varying degrees of intimacy.

Hair care. Brushing, braiding, washing, cutting -- all of these involve a lot of careful touching in ways that many people enjoy. Hair braiding is a bonding experience in some cultures. In fact, grooming is a bonding technique for social primates in general. People without close ties to others often treat themselves to regular salon visits as a socially acceptable way to meet the need for touch and interaction.

Shaving. This involves an unusually high level of trust, especially if the person is using a straight-edge razor or something else with an exposed blade rather than just a buzzer. Although it can apply to women, shaving is one of the few forms of physical intimacy that is most closely associated with men due to their facial hair. Initiaton into shaving is a major milestone for becoming a man, not just for boys during puberty but also for transsexuals during transition.

Bathing. This varies by culture; in America most people bathe alone but some other cultures practice communal bathing. A bath is usually more intimate than a shower, although a public bath can be non-intimate and small shower stall can be intimate. It's also different when two people wash each other (an exchange of intimacy and affection) than when one person washes someone else (more of a caretaking or protective gesture).

Feeding. A classic romantic motif involves lovers feeding each other, but it works as a way of providing and caring for someone in any context. Like bathing, it can also clue whether both parties are participating equally or one is taking care of the other (temporarily or regularly). This one has an existential flavor since survival depends on food supply.

Massage. The tone can be clinical, casual, nonsexually intimate, or erotic but it all comes down to a lot of skin contact. Some cultures, such as Swedish and Japanese, are far more comfortable with massage than American culture is; but you can still find it in America. Some Asian traditions offer orgasm (a "happy ending") as a non-erotic physical release, which is useful in contexts where erotic interaction is not desired but the body's needs are demanding.

Taking care of someone sick/injured. A natural part of family life, this can also crop up between professional partners or even strangers in some circumstances. It involves one person doing things that the other normally does alone, but currently finds difficult or impossible. This is a great way to break down walls for one of those stubborn characters who is impregnable under ordinary circumstances -- hence the popularity of hurt/comfort fiction.

Touching parts of the body not usually handled by strangers. The body divides into areas with different permissions. Strangers may shake hands, casual friends may slap each other on the shoulder. Only close relationships tend to involve touching the face, feet, inside forearms, nape of neck, etc. 

Seeing someone without their adaptive equipment on. This includes glasses, dentalware, prosthetic limbs, a wheelchair, etc. Adaptive equipment is part of one's presentation to the everyday world, and taking it off can be as intimate as removing clothing, for many people in many contexts.

Removing or putting on someone's glasses. This one is worth special mention both because it's the most common version of a not-very-common motif, and because it's intimate without being overwhelming. It's something one might do for a friend who falls asleep on the couch, for instance. That makes it a good way to show that a relationship is becoming intimate.

Undressing someone. This can be kind of a one-way experience if the recipient isn't awake, and is often awkward for both people if they are awake. Sometimes it happens because hands are out of commission, but a more common example is someone passing out drunk. Overheating is another good reason. Different circumstances can imply different levels of intimacy.
neekabe: pile of thin rope (asexual slasher)
[personal profile] neekabe
Hi all,

I do plan on doing some research on my own, but I'm hoping that someone can help me save some time. I'm looking for information/ideas/blogs etc about sexual people and asexual people in relationships. Not for me, for a friend (honest! :P).

I know I've read some things, but haven't noted it as I'm aromantic and introverted and so the compromises of relationships aren't overly relevant.
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